A few pictures :)

Eli's appointment is in 2.5 hours and I need something to do to keep my mind busy. So I figured I would do a quick entry and post some cute pictures of my little man.

I gave him a bath today and he smells so clean! I will update either later today or tomorrow about what we learned at the orthos office. 

 Enjoy the pictures. 

Big sister carrying Eli for the first time!

Eli LOVES the bath!

Cute legs and toes!

Snuggling with mama, all fresh and clean after his bath.

The count down

June 28th - Eli's 3 weeks old

24 hours from now we will be seeing Eli's ortho for the first time. We will finally get some information, to know how bad his hips are and what treatment will be like.  Ever time I think about it, my stomach does flip flops. I'm thankful for this past week, to have the time to try and get mentally prepared. But at the same time, I wish we could have already started treatment. I can now think about the harness and not immediately break down into tears. I can even talk about it from a minute with daddy before I get teary. I know he will be ok and this will be harder on me then him, but it doesn't make it any easier. I know I'm not alone in the way I feel. I have spent the last week doing tons of research, reading blogs and have joined two Facebook pages about hip dysplasia. Everyone stories that I have read, they go thru the same feelings that I do. It makes me feel less alone. 

Today we took the kids to OMSI. Mostly to let them have fun, because I have a feeling it will be a week or so before I'm comfortable going out in public. I also wanted to go and have a "normal" day out, without the stares and questions that I'm sure will come once he gets the harness on. Silly I know to feel that way.. But I do. 

I'm going to give Eli another bath tonight (which he loves!) and enjoy the floppy snuggles. I'm going to enjoy his tiny little feet and legs and give them lots of kisses. I going to enjoy being able to breast feed him with his body up against mine. And tonight I'm going to cherish one last night of him sleeping on his side, snuggled up to me nursing. Oh damn, here come the tears again. 

The count down begins :(

Sleeping in his carseat at OMSI.

I just love his little toes!

Big guy is 3 weeks old!

Milk coma and snuggles with mama.

Emotional

June 26th 2015- 20 days old

Monday....

Today is Friday.  I just want to know something, anything! I don't know what his numbers are, if will have to have a Pavlik harness, if our car seat works, if he's allowed to use the swing we have, nothing. I don't even know if I'm going to be allowed to bath him!

 I have been waiting seven days to find out any information, two more to go. It's relieving and terrifying at the same time. I want to know what's going on, and what our plan of action is, but I'm so scared. Family members keep asking me how I'm going to feel next week and all of these questions and I don't know anything. They ask me what I need for him, how long he going to have to wear it, but I don't know. I don't know if we're going to be in a pavlik harness or what. I'm so sick of not knowing, of the questions. I have a million and one question and no answers. 

Everyone keeps saying it will be ok, that he will be fine, he won't remember, that it could be worse... Well damn it none of that make me feel good. It doesn't make me feel better.

Here are some cute pictures of Eli. 

Dornbechers called

June 19th 2015 - 13 days old

Dornbechers called just a bit ago and I pulled myself together long enough to talk to them. I have been holed up snuggling with Eli in our room all day. Thank goodness hubby is home to deal with the older kids, so I can lay here in the dark and just cry. I feel so alone.

Today is Friday June 19th and we can't get into the docs before Monday the 29th. 10 days. 10 days of waiting, wondering and worrying. Is this waiting going to make his hips worse? How do I hold him? What should I NOT be doing? Why can't we be seen sooner? 

Thank goodness I get 10 days to snuggle with my baby before the harness goes on. To be able to lay in bed and breast feed. To take him in public and just be normal. I don't know if I'm happy about that, or sad, or frustrated. It's going to be a long week, that goes by too quickly. 

 10 days.... 

Hip dysplasia

June 19th 2015 - 13 days old

Well it's official. After receiving a call from my midwife, Eli's images from the ultrasound show that he has hip dysplasia. We don't know how bad tho. She said he will probably have to wear the pavlik harness for 4-8 weeks, but we don't know. She sent a referral into Dornbechers children's hospital to have Eli be seen by a specialist. Now we wait again for the call from them...

I could barely get through my conversation with her before breaking down into tears. One Google image search of the pavlik harness made the tears come hard and fast. Now they won't stop. 

First ultrasound

June 18th 2015 - 12 days old

So many phone calls. I feel like I'm always on the phone with one doctors office or another.

we had Eli's first ultrasound on his hips today. He cooperated and hopefully the tech got some good images. They were only going to scan the left hip but I asked and asked them to do the right too since we were there. They said since the order only said "hip" and not "hips", they could only do one, which I think is stupid. Luckily the guy who looks at the ultrasound asked them to do both, so we  got both done. Now we wait. We wait for the images and report to be sent back to my midwife and we will see what happens next. Feeing anxious for her call. 

"Click"

June 16th 2015 - 10 days old

At my latest midwife appointment, my doc felt a "click" in Eli's left hip, after checking at birth and being told his hips are fine. So she is ordering an ultrasound on his hip to see what's going on. 

I'm trying not to freak out, to worry.... But it's not working. 

On the up side, Eli is up to 7lbs 11.5oz!