24 hours from now we will be seeing Eli's ortho for the first time. We will finally get some information, to know how bad his hips are and what treatment will be like. Ever time I think about it, my stomach does flip flops. I'm thankful for this past week, to have the time to try and get mentally prepared. But at the same time, I wish we could have already started treatment. I can now think about the harness and not immediately break down into tears. I can even talk about it from a minute with daddy before I get teary. I know he will be ok and this will be harder on me then him, but it doesn't make it any easier. I know I'm not alone in the way I feel. I have spent the last week doing tons of research, reading blogs and have joined two Facebook pages about hip dysplasia. Everyone stories that I have read, they go thru the same feelings that I do. It makes me feel less alone.
Today we took the kids to OMSI. Mostly to let them have fun, because I have a feeling it will be a week or so before I'm comfortable going out in public. I also wanted to go and have a "normal" day out, without the stares and questions that I'm sure will come once he gets the harness on. Silly I know to feel that way.. But I do.
I'm going to give Eli another bath tonight (which he loves!) and enjoy the floppy snuggles. I'm going to enjoy his tiny little feet and legs and give them lots of kisses. I going to enjoy being able to breast feed him with his body up against mine. And tonight I'm going to cherish one last night of him sleeping on his side, snuggled up to me nursing. Oh damn, here come the tears again.
The count down begins :(
Milk coma and snuggles with mama.